post from CalorieLab - Health News & Information Blog
on 11 July 2012 03:09:29 PM. © CalorieLab - Health News & Information Blog
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Our Main Health Care Problem: Severe Truth Decay
There have been some serious misrepresentations made of the Affordable Health Care Act. There have also been some gross exaggerations of its scope and authority. And then there have been some lies bordering so closely on actual insanity that your jaw falls open when you hear them seriously enunciated.
- Abortions will be available without parental consent to twelve-year-olds: Lie.
- Parents who refuse to have their children vaccinated will be guilty of a felony: Lie.
- All Muslim Americans will receive special care from Muslim M.D.s practicing Sharia medicine, which is like Sharia law except… medical: Lie.
- The whole “death panels” nonsense, a morbidly Damoclean fantasy without a shred of truth to it: Dismayingly successful lie.
What there have not been, you may have noticed, are any similarly raving-alarmist claims being made about the alternate health care plan offered by Mitt Romney and the Republican Party. The foremost reason for this lack is that nobody seems to have a clear idea of what that plan is. Most people, even in politics, find it hard to distort the positions of others when they don’t know what those positions are.
But some of us know a wide open opportunity when we see it, and are not finicky in seizing that opportunity for purposes of snarky amusement. And so, purely in the spirit of leveling the playing field, I am happy to leak to the public a few of the terrible ghastly little-known horrifying details that lurk in the Romney/Republican Health Care Plan.
- All unhealthy medical conditions of any kind are henceforth to be considered pre-existing, including injury due to occupational, recreational, automotive or other type of accident.
- Gunshot wounds are specifically not covered because guns don’t hurt people, people hurt people.
- Children’s coverage under their parents’ health insurance will terminate, and they will be required to begin purchasing their own, when they reach the age of Biblical maturity, that being 13 years (or younger in certain states… you know who you are).
- Emergency rooms will be required to turn away all prospective patients who are unable to provide a birth certificate or other notarized proof of American citizenship upon arrival. Expensive ambulance service will be replaced by economical transportation involving crates on the roof of passenger cars.
- Pharmacists and drugstore employees may refuse to sell any product to anyone whenever the notion of doing so strikes them as sinful or improper, including but not limited to all forms of contraception, erectile dysfunction medications, lubricants and massage oils, depilatories, really slutty nail polish, lip gloss and other cosmetics, suggestive greeting cards and scented candles.
- To simplify and speed up the current, unwieldy organ transplant procedure, donor organs will henceforth simply be awarded to the highest bidder. The donation for sale of one’s organs will become legal, and will be overseen by a nationwide Organ Exchange. The auction of one’s organs will additionally be permitted, and in some cases required, in order to meet the payment of debts.
- Medicare will gradually be phased out and replaced by a health-maintenance program known as Prayer.
By now, some readers have probably taken offense at this gag, but the sorry truth about our health care debate is that “debate” is actually too dignified a term for the seamy level of public discourse on the subject, and the jabs above are no more preposterous, tasteless or offensive than much of the hysterical drivel that is even now being peddled in and by the media with a straight face.
And the worst thing about this is that it ultimately repels us, leaves us so wearied and disgusted by the subject of health care that we want to cover our ears. Just the other day a national survey reported that nearly 60 percent of us are tired of hearing arguments about Obamacare already, and wish everyone would just drop the subject.
That’s where the ranting and raving on all sides has has brought us to: We are sick of having to think about our health care. And that’s not healthy.
(By Robert S. Wieder for CalorieLab Calorie Counter News):
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Lies, Damned Lies and Health Care ‘Facts’ is a post from: CalorieLab - Health News & Information Blog
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